Doubt forces you to re-evaluate everything. Discomfort is a sign you’re expanding. An identity crisis is the warning of your evolution.

Have you ever felt lost, unsure of who you are, and questioning everything you thought you knew? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us experience identity crises at some point in our lives, often triggered by major life changes like death, career change, trauma, life threatening wake up calls, breakups, or loss. While it can be a confusing and challenging time, it can also be an opportunity for significant growth and self-discovery.

What exactly is an identity crisis? It’s a period of uncertainty and confusion. You are questioning yourself and your life. It’s most often when you are smack down in the middle of a significant change in your life, just surviving. An identity crisis forces you to re-evaluate who you are and what you want in life. You may be feeling really down, hard on yourself and possibly not even know you that you are even in an identity crisis. 

Letting go of the person I thought I was supposed to be allowed me to discover who I wanted to become.

Daring to question yourself isn’t a weakness, it’s a superpower that leads to you to step into your power.

My identity crisis story

I used to have the perfect life in New York City – a powerful career, a happy marriage, even a house in the Hamptons.  It seemed perfect from the outside, and even when it wasn’t always perfect I pretended it was because I knew I was very fortunate for my lifestyle. The truth? Deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. I felt empty at times. I couldn’t pinpoint it, and just hoped I’d eventually feel better and the funk would fade away. Then when life threw me some unexpected curveballs, everything changed. My job, my marriage, the very foundation I’d built my identity on everything I thought defined me fell apart. I fell apart. 

This brutal wake-up call forced me to confront a harsh reality: I was lost and unhappy, trapped by labels and expectations that no longer served me. It forced me to see that I was living a life based on what others expected, not what truly mattered to me.  I lived on autopilot, chasing external validation instead of true fulfillment.

Walking away is easy. Learning to be honest with yourself is hard. Your challenge is not to be easy on yourself, your challenge is to find growth and strength in the unknown. Uncertainty is beautiful if you allow it to be. You just have to be wild enough to step into it.

The questions I’d been suppressing erupted: who was I, truly? What did I value? What did I want? I felt lost and unsure of myself, questioning everything I thought I knew. I was desperate to find meaning in this new chapter of my life.

When I was questioning my values, what mattered to me and what the hell happened it also led me on a journey of self-discovery. I realized I needed to break free from societal expectations and find my own path, one that brought me true fulfillment.  That terrible challenging period of confusion and self-doubt, was also strangely liberating. The “uptown NYC career girl” turned “coconut head” may be gone, but in her place, is a stronger, more authentic version, one I am proud of.

The challenges you face during your identity crisis can teach you valuable lessons about yourself and the world around you. Who would have known my identity crisis would be my passport to being my true self. My one advice for you today if you take anything away from this post is….

Just do it wild: ditch the labels, and don’t be afraid to be freely yourself. Redefining you is your opportunity to embrace your wildness and become a self made wild heart. 

My 3 unexpected benefits of going through an identity crisis:

1. Growth and Change: This period of questioning will push you to re-evaluate everything in your life. It is a chance for you to take a deeper look at your goals and dreams. You may discover new goals and dreams.You may discover new passions and talents you never knew existed. What it is doing is leading you to exciting new opportunities that feel more authentic to you only you. Without a doubt you will see growth and change. Shaking things up isn’t about chaos, it’s about creating a life that resonates with your true desires. The scariest question isn’t ‘who am I?’ but ‘who do I want to be?

2. Opportunity for Self-Reflection: You have a chance to connect with yourself on a deeper level, question & challenge your existing beliefs, and explore what truly matters. It’s a time for you to identify and release outdated habits and behaviors that no longer serve you. By doing this you will have a deeper understanding of your values and purpose. Don’t mistake being alone for being lonely. When you learn to be comfortable being alone, it can be the start of something beautiful. For me, the loudest voice I needed to hear was inside my own heart. 

3. Embracing New Possibilities: Stepping outside your comfort zone will absolutely lead you to an ongoing incredible journey of personal growth. You may find yourself challenging yourself, learning new skills, and exploring new territories. It’s your opportunity to grab life by horns and begin living life on the edge. Your bravest journey you will ever have in life will start with the unknown. Only the bold have the courage to explore and claim their wildest dreams.

Your identity crisis may not have been on your agenda (I don’t think anyone wakes up & says I want to be in an identity crisis lol) and it may feel like you are on an unexpected detour. What if it is a powerful invitation to rediscover your true self? What if it is a time to embrace it as an opportunity to let your wild spirit be your guide? Remember, everything you need to create the life you desire lies within you – your authenticity, your strength, and your wildness. Be bold, be free, and be unapologetically you.

Are you now ready to reclaim your identity and wild side? My 7-day free challenge : HOW TO REWRITE YOUR STORY WITH LOVE & CONFIDENCE is just for you! It’s your chance to spark your creativity, redefine your values, and begin redefining you!

Wherever you are on your journey, you are not alone. I hope you have a great support tribe and just know that I’m here to cheer you on as you chase your dreams, challenge the status quo and step into your true self era. Until next time, may your wild heart lead the way!